Humanist Thought of the Week

Pick Your Battles

Sometimes you win by not fighting.

There are several reasons why it’s important to pick your battles.

First, you don’t have unlimited energy.

If you fight every little thing, you will quickly burn out, even if your cause is just.

Second, some things are better left not fought. There are some battles you cannot win AND, no good will come from the fight.

Third, it takes two people to fight. If you don’t fight, the other person usually ends up looking like a jerk and you can win by default. 

This way takes longer, but the success and satisfaction is worth the self-control this takes. 

In order to be successful, you have to have balance.

Learn how to pick your battles by learning how to think critically and by having compassion for those you disagree with. 

Dealing with religious relatives over the holidays

The John Tesh Network interviewed me about how to deal with religious conflicts over the holidays.

Here is the interview

Realistic Optimism

Humanists are optimists.

We may seem cock-eyed at times, but that is deceptive.

Our optimism is tempered by our reason.

We are firmly grounded in reality and take extraordinary measures to make sure we stay grounded.

Despite that grounding, our heads are in the clouds.

Always thinking about what might be or could be.

The nice thing about realistic optimism is that when a realist dreams, their dreams, because they are based in reality, are achievable. 

My optimism helps me to stay motivated despite it all and my acceptance of the hardships of reality helps ensure that my plans have a good chance of success.

Don’t think of realism and optimism as opposites. 

They are powerful compliments to each other.

Don’t be a Jerk

How Humanism can help us be better conversationalists – or should – if we don’t become jerks about it.

When you talk to others do you have an agenda?

Are you trying to show how clever you are?

Are you trying to win an argument?

Or are you genuinely curious about the other person?

Who they are and how they came to hold the views they do.

Too often we are so caught up in what we want to get out of a conversation we forget that there is a real human being on the other side.

We need to learn to talk with people instead of at them.

To do that, we have to genuinely care about what they have to say and to share.

That requires you to recognize them as a human worthy of your respect and compassion.

Even if you disagree with them. 

What are you afraid of?

Confronting your fears on purpose.

I am pretty convinced that the main lesson I have had to learn over and over and over again is how to deal with my fears and insecurities.

It’s amazing how often fear interferes with my life.

If you are like me, you are probably have a host of minor fears that don’t completely interfere with your life but that hinder you none-the-less.

I’m afraid of stuffy rooms. I worry I’m going to suffocate.

However, mostly, I’m afraid I’m going to fail at things that are important to me. 

Whenever I feel afraid, I hold myself erect and try to figure out what the worst is that could happen.

If the worst doesn’t involve death and dismemberment, I try to make a point to do whatever it is.

I refuse to allow my fears to rule my life.

Have I needed professional help to overcome my fears before? 

Yeah – like when I was stalked.

But the point is that I got the help I needed to confront my fears so I could live fully.

You should too.