Humanist Thought of the Week

Humanistic Parenting

What does it mean to parent humanistically?

To me it means that I need to recognize my child as the autonomous human that he is.

It means interacting with him compassionately.

It means helping him learn how to find joy in the act of living and being alive. 

And it means helping him to understand and assume the responsibilities of being a member of the human family.

Because while we humans may be autonomous individuals, we are still social animals. 

There are other humans we interact with regularly and it helps us to make those interactions as good as possible.

We have to be responsible for our actions towards those other people. 

I teach him the responsibility of respect by modeling respect for him and through my interactions with him.

Does he appreciate the respect I show him?

Yes he does.  He’s one of the few kids in the neighborhood who isn’t spanked.

He tells me how grateful he is that I don’t discipline him with spanking all the time.

Does a Humanistic approach to parenting work?  Yes it does.

My Mom

This past weekend was mother’s day.

My mom had a tremendous impact on me.

She taught me to be fearless.

How to take responsibility for my contribution to any argument.

How to be an activist and to advocate for what is right. 

And how to love unconditionally, even people I don’t necessarily agree with.

As a mom myself, I try to instill these same lessons in my son.

Am I succeeding?  I hope so.

My son is only 9 so he still has a lot of learning and living to do.

As hard as it is, I think being a mom is one of the most important things I have ever done.

So to all you fellow moms out there – thank you.

Thank you for being part of the sisterhood of moms which I get to share with and commiserate with and learn from. 

How Star Wars Influenced My Humanism

Two days ago was the geek holiday – May the 4th. 

As in May the Fourth be With You!

Yeah. I’m a geek and a Star Wars fan.

And yeah, Star Wars influences me and my sense of morality.

All good stories do.

From Star Wars I learned, it doesn’t matter what someone looks like. They could be a Wookie or an Ewok and they still deserve respect.

I learned that we have a moral duty to resist evil politicians who commit genocide, like the emperor did when he blew up Alderaan. 

And I learned that it’s important to take action to help your friends. Well wishes aren’t enough. If Han had just hoped for the best, Luke would have died on Hoth. 

And that’s Humanism when you think about it.

• Respect people even if they are different from you

• Resist evil

• And do something to help. Wishful thinking and worry doesn’t accomplish anything. 

Is Honesty the Best Policy?

I don’t like to lie.

I wasn’t raised with very many “absolute” values because I was raised by freethinkers.

But one thing that was stressed, was honesty.  

Honesty to self first and foremost.

Honest to others when possible.

But is there a limit to honesty?

Of course! I would absolutely lie to save my life.

I might also lie, or omit the truth, to spare someone’s feelings IF I felt that hurting them would serve no good purpose.

It is in these “spare someone else’s feelings” that the real grey area of honest lies. 

And this is why morality is so darned difficult.

I’m not going to lie to you about that. 

Earth Day

Most Humanists are environmentalists.

We understand that as a species, we are totally dependent on the earth for survival. 

Either it’s habitable to us, or it is not.

And, it could very easily be not.

And we understand science – so we understand that human activity is causing ecological problems that may not be solvable.

For a Humanist, environmental conservation is a moral imperative. 

So use this earth day to do something to help the earth and help yourself have a thriving habitat for us humans to live in at the same time.