Humanist Thought of the Week

Evolved Thinking

An interesting ad popped up in my Facebook feed the other day.

It said – “Are you interested in the evolution of your own spiritual level?” 

First – no idea what a spiritual level is.

However, if you were to ask, “Am I interested in evolving the way I think?” The answer is yes.  

I’m all for evolved thinking. 

My thinking has evolved over the course of my life. 

I have achieved what little level of evolved thinking I have through the guided evolution of intentional learning. 

It has made me a better, more compassionate and effective person. 

If you are interested in a little guided evolution in your thinking, check out the courses at Humanist Learning Systems https://humanistlearning.com 

Ethical Sex is Consensual Sex

Lots of people are hoping to get lucky tomorrow night. 

I wish them well. 

Just remember, ethical sex is consensual sex.

In order for it to be consensual – your partner has to say – Yes. 

If they don’t say anything, that’s not consent.

If you coerce them into saying yes, that’s not consent either. 

Bargaining is one thing, but using your power over others to force them to have sex with is not consensual even if they technically “consent” because your coercion robbed them of choice.

You also need to make full disclosure about your heatlh status and expectations for sex. Full disclosure!

If you don’t fully disclose the terms, you rob your partner of consent.

So – to be ethical – you need full disclosure & no coercion.

Once you have that – I don’t care what you do – just go and have fun.

On Collaboration

I asked my fans for random quotes from books the other day.

Hilda posted “If you want me to help, you have to let me make the decisions with you.” 

I have no idea what book this quote came from nor the context.  

But I agree with this.

If you want me to help – you have to actually let me help.

And I’m only going to want to help if I understand and agree with what you are trying to do.

Collaboration isn’t about telling people what to do.

Collaboration is about making decisions together and then working together to complete a goal.  Together.

Have a plan

On the topic of parenting, one of the questions I get a lot is how to get a child to stop behaving badly when the child throws a fit to get their way.

The answer, have a plan!  

You know the child is going to throw a fit when you say no.  

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I’m not perfect

I am a mom. I teach other moms how to parent better. 

I know this stuff and I still lose my cool with my kid sometimes.

For instance: if I am tired, cranky or didn’t get much sleep and I’ve been dealing with a kid who chose today to be oppositional, well, I lose my cool.

Every parent I know has stories of losing it.  And every parent I know feels like a failure when that happens.

On the plus side – we care enough to get it right.

And to me, that’s what matters.  

Not just with parenting, but with life.

I am going to fail sometimes.  And that’s ok.

As long as I pick myself up and learn how to avoid making the same mistakes in the future.