Humanist Thought of the Week

Proxy Problems

It’s a new year eve!

How many of you made New Year’s resolutions?

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Pick Your Battles

Sometimes you win by not fighting.

There are several reasons why it’s important to pick your battles.

First, you don’t have unlimited energy.

If you fight every little thing, you will quickly burn out, even if your cause is just.

Second, some things are better left not fought. There are some battles you cannot win AND, no good will come from the fight.

Third, it takes two people to fight. If you don’t fight, the other person usually ends up looking like a jerk and you can win by default. 

This way takes longer, but the success and satisfaction is worth the self-control this takes. 

In order to be successful, you have to have balance.

Learn how to pick your battles by learning how to think critically and by having compassion for those you disagree with. 

Dealing with religious relatives over the holidays

The John Tesh Network interviewed me about how to deal with religious conflicts over the holidays.

Here is the interview

What are you afraid of?

Confronting your fears on purpose.

I am pretty convinced that the main lesson I have had to learn over and over and over again is how to deal with my fears and insecurities.

It’s amazing how often fear interferes with my life.

If you are like me, you are probably have a host of minor fears that don’t completely interfere with your life but that hinder you none-the-less.

I’m afraid of stuffy rooms. I worry I’m going to suffocate.

However, mostly, I’m afraid I’m going to fail at things that are important to me. 

Whenever I feel afraid, I hold myself erect and try to figure out what the worst is that could happen.

If the worst doesn’t involve death and dismemberment, I try to make a point to do whatever it is.

I refuse to allow my fears to rule my life.

Have I needed professional help to overcome my fears before? 

Yeah – like when I was stalked.

But the point is that I got the help I needed to confront my fears so I could live fully.

You should too.

The Right Way to Disagree

Why politeness during disagreements matters.

If you are going to call someone out for being racist - it's probably best if you don't launch into a sexist tirade as a way to express yourself. 

Fighting stupid bigotry with stupid bigotry is pretty stupid.

It is sufficient to say – I’m upset at the racism and bigotry this person is showing. 

Describing the person you disagree with in sexist and derogatory terms makes you just as bad as the person you disagree with.

Racist statements denigrate the victim so that we can dismiss them as not worthy of our time and attention.

Sexist statements do the same thing on the basis of the denigration is sex, not skin color.

A Humanist doesn’t dismiss people because of either, or because of disability or any other arbitrary reason.

We might not agree with you. We might think you are a jerk.

But we will base that on your actions, not on an accident of birth.