Episodes
Tuesday Dec 22, 2015
Holiday Cheer
Tuesday Dec 22, 2015
Tuesday Dec 22, 2015
I’m in Las Vegas right now with my son and my mom and her husband.
We are taking a little vacation before joining my sister’s family for the holidays.
Which holidays?
Well that depends on which family member.
Christmas? Certainly. Hanukah? Definitely. Saturnalia? Probably.
This is the first time I’ve spent this holiday away from my husband, but this trip couldn’t be cancelled.
We have to clean out my father’s house to prepare it for sale.
I’m looking forward to seeing everyone in my extended family. Aunts, uncles, cousins and more.
They are all loving wonderful people.
To me, regardless of the holiday you celebrate, the people you celebrate with it are what matters.
But then, I’m a Humanist.
Tuesday Jul 28, 2015
Planning for Personal Success
Tuesday Jul 28, 2015
Tuesday Jul 28, 2015
Eudaimonia is a big word that is hard to pronounce. It will never catch on.
Regardless, eudaimonia is the goal of the humanist.
Aristotle says that eudaimonia means 'doing and living well'.
There are two parts of this. The first is the doing.
The 2nd is the living well.
You can’t have one without the other.
And that’s where things get tricky.
Knowing what you should do to create wellbeing is rarely straightforward.
Most people need some sort of plan or strategy to be successful.
Understanding that your goal is to live well and thrive is the first step.
Learn more with my new course – Planning for Personal Success at Humanist Learning Systems.
Tuesday Jul 14, 2015
How to Love Someone.
Tuesday Jul 14, 2015
Tuesday Jul 14, 2015
I was watching Star Talk the other day and a scientist, Helen Fisher, was on talking about the love.
Turns out that there are areas of the brain that activate when the brain is experiencing love and affection.
In fact, there are 3 systems that combine to create love.
The sex drive – the drive to reproduce with someone with compatible genes.
The romantic love system – which focuses our attention on 1 person at a time, which presumably helps us figure out how to satisfy the sex drive.
And attachment, which helps us feel secure in the relationship. We all need this.
Love is a combination of sexual drive, romantic focused attention and attachment.
What apparently makes love different from lust is that your attention is focused on one person!
Want to love someone? Focus your attention on them.
Help them feel secure in your presence by being a good ethical person who supports them.
And get with the sexy sexy.
Tuesday Mar 17, 2015
Finding Love
Tuesday Mar 17, 2015
Tuesday Mar 17, 2015
Love comes in many forms.
I love my husband deeply and passionately.
I love my son too, but in a slightly different way.
I also love my cat. She’s wonderful.
What do all these forms of love have in common?
They make me feel good.
They make me want to care about someone other than myself.
More and more I am convinced that the feeling of connectedness we all crave and desire, is best fulfilled by loving other people.
Feeling love for others is its own reward whether they appreciate or reciprocate my feelings or not.
This is what it is to love unconditionally.
So when you love, whoever you love, get your ego out of the way and love for the sake of loving.
Wednesday Dec 31, 2014
Ethical Sex is Consensual Sex
Wednesday Dec 31, 2014
Wednesday Dec 31, 2014
Lots of people are hoping to get lucky tomorrow night.
I wish them well.
Just remember, ethical sex is consensual sex.
In order for it to be consensual – your partner has to say – Yes.
If they don’t say anything, that’s not consent.
If you coerce them into saying yes, that’s not consent either.
Bargaining is one thing, but using your power over others to force them to have sex with is not consensual even if they technically “consent” because your coercion robbed them of choice.
You also need to make full disclosure about your heatlh status and expectations for sex. Full disclosure!
If you don’t fully disclose the terms, you rob your partner of consent.
So – to be ethical – you need full disclosure & no coercion.
Once you have that – I don’t care what you do – just go and have fun.
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